Dear Beloved POMS:
The dishes with the paw prints are YOURS and contain
YOUR food. The other dishes are MINE and contain MY food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle
of my plate of food DOES
NOT stake a claim for it becoming YOUR food and dish, nor do I find this aesthetically
pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was NOT designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to
the bottom is NOT the object. Tripping me doesn't help, either, because I fall faster than you can run.
I can't buy anything bigger than a KING-SIZED bed. I am so sorry about this. Do
not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.
POMS can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular
to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking your tails straight out and having
your tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is just SARCASM.
For the last time, there is NOT a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle
I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to whine, bark, try to turn the knob,
or get your paw under the edge of the door to try to pull the door open. I MUST EXIT THROUGH THE SAME DOOR I ENTERED.
Also, I have been using the bathroom for more years than you have been around---Canine
attendance is NOT MANDATORY.
The proper order is to kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress
this enough.
To return the kindness of your obedience, my dear little ones, I have posted the
following on our front door so visitors to our home will know what the rules are here.
RULES FOR ALL VISITORS AND ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR ADOPTED KIDS.
1. They live here. YOU DON'T!
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, STAY OFF THE
FURNITURE. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my POMS a lot more than I like most people.
4. To you, they are animals. To us, they are children who are
short, hairy and walk on all fours. Although they don't speak
English, they communicate VERY WELL.
5. POMS are better than human kids. They eat less, don't ask
for money all the time, are easier to train, usually
come
when called, never ask to borrow the car, don't hang
out
with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't
worry
whether their coat is in style, don't ask to wear your clothes,
and don't need thousands of dollars for a college education.
]
Also, if they get PREGNANT, you can SELL THEIR CHILDREN!
$$$$$!!!!!
Your Loving POM Mom & Dad
